People sometimes believe that they feel too deeply, or that their emotions are too big. But it's important to remember that emotions are natural reactions to internal or external stimuli. Rather than the emotions themselves, it's more about how you respond to your emotions that determines your mental health.
Problems with emotional regulation can start in the early years, and they may progress through adolescence and adulthood. Nearly every type of mental health issue coincides with emotional regulation difficulties, although these difficulties exist on a large spectrum.
When someone struggles with their emotional reactions, they often face difficulties in their relationships. Other people may describe them as hostile, temperamental, moody, or unpredictable. They may also face problems in school or in work, and their physical health may suffer because of the excess stress.
You perpetually feel overwhelmed: No matter what's going on in life, you feel like you can't manage the stress. It always feels like things are falling apart, and you often don't know how to cope when something is outside of your control.
You have high levels of shame: You don't feel like you're good enough, and you experience ongoing self-doubt and low self-esteem. When you make a mistake, you assume it's because you're fundamentally flawed. Concepts of self-compassion or forgiveness often feel foreign to you.
You often feel angry with other people: You often feel disrespected or as if other people don't understand you. Even well-intentioned feedback can make you feel upset, and it's hard for you to open up or trust others.
You don't treat yourself kindly: Emotional dysregulation often goes hand-in-hand with issues like substance abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, and violence. These strategies are all methods for dealing with strong emotions.
You often self-sabotage: People who struggle with their emotions may harm themselves before the outside world causes them more distress. The self-sabotage pattern acts to maintain a status quo and avoid undesirable outcomes associated with change or growth.